


Heartache Remedy

by NicoleBloom89



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Major Character Injury, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 02:46:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoleBloom89/pseuds/NicoleBloom89
Summary: Stumbling over his feet's Nick rushed forward. With dread and fear pulsing widely Nick fell down on his knees beside the man; ignoring once more the violent scream of protest from his body. It was with unsteady hands Nick carefully turned the man over to lay on his back.Upon turning, Nick's breath left him in a rush. Across the Captain's chest, from left shoulder to midsection ran a deep cut, bleeding freely and strong, painting the once crisp white shirt red and dark with blood and dirt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this after watching "Breakfast in bed" (S6E06). I have not yet seen the latest episodes of the show so if something akin to what I have written has happened, well... thumbs up for me. 
> 
> All spelling mistakes are my own and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

**Heartache Remedy**

The war had been brutal, _merciless_ , and sadly, many good men and women had end up paying the ultimate price for victory – many, whom Nick had come to greet as friends, and would miss deeply. It was a bittersweet moment. The battle with Black Claws was over, yes, but to what cost? Nick looked at the devastation surrounding him: fallen warriors – wesens and humans, men and women; some where even children still. Nick had a hard time believing it was all for a good cause, especially when all he could see was death and destruction.

The grass, tainted with blood, and the soiled red and damp with rain. The air reeked of decayed bodies and sickeningly sweet copper. His clothes were wet and glued to his cool skin. A breeze sent a shiver down his spine and limbs. He was cold and tired, his body ached all over. He had taken some damage during the battle: a cracked rib, maybe two.

The knife fell from his grip, fingers too numb to hold onto it any longer. On shaky legs Nick start moving forward, no specific destination in mind. He just walked. Lost for what else to do. There were no one to battle, no enemies to fight or people to protect. He was done. They had done it. They had won.

Relief and exhaustion crashed down on him all of a sudden, and Nick wobbled, dangerously close to fall over. He felt as if he hadn't slept for days. He ached all over, even breathing took a toll on his sore body. Nick exhaled out a shaky breath, trying to ease the pressure on his chest and tender ribs. _Fucking Wildesheer_ , Nick cursed. Angry at himself for dropping his guard down long enough for the man to get in a few punches, all of them directly to his chest. Nick had repay the men by cutting the bastards throat open. Refusing to acknowledge the pain Nick stubbornly pushed forward. His mind gone blank with a haze of burning agony and exhaustion. He longed for a bed. Imagine himself surrounded by soft pillows and blankets, Nick found it a bit easier to dismiss the agony burning him inside and out.

In his half slumbering state, Nick abruptly halted. Something odd, yet familiar caught his attention. Trying to see better, Nick squeezed his eyes, focus as best as he could to make out the immobilizing shape on the ground. Then, as he approached the lump of fabric and dirt, Nick froze in horror. In front of him, only a couple of feet away, lie the now identified body of his Captain. Stumbling over his feet's Nick rushed forward. With dread and fear pulsing widely Nick fell down on his knees beside the man; ignoring once more the violent scream of protest from his body. It was with unsteady hands Nick carefully turned the man over to lay on his back.

Upon turning, Nick's breath left him in a rush. Across the Captain's chest, from left shoulder to midsection ran a deep cut, bleeding freely and strong, painting the once crisp white shirt red and dark with blood and dirt. Trembling Nick reached out with his hand, fingers shaking as searching for a pulse. The soft thud of a beating heart, week, but there had Nick almost crying with relief. He was still alive. But for how long?

It was with a sinking heart Nick came to the grim realization that with no hospital around, or way to call for help, the chances of survival was slim to none.

His Captain would much likely die before the end of the night.

Devastation and hopelessness ran through his body like ice, making him shiver violently. The reaction to the man's likely death effected Nick far deeper than the grimm thought possible. True, Renard was his Captain and boss, but over the last year or two the string between them had bend and twist, stretched to it's limit and snapped more times the Nick could remember. The burning respect Nick had once felt towards the older man, and if Nick looked deep enough he would even go so far as classified it as love, had diminished rapidly over the constant betrayal the man had put him through.

Or so Nick had thought.

The cooling affection that had laid dormant within him for about a year and a half had sudden resurfaced like a wildfire at the sight of the man in his arms, lifeless and broken.

Nick couldn't help but to compare himself to that of an abused woman at this point. Despite everything the man had done to him, repeatedly abusing his trust and loyalty, Nick still found himself unable to stay away from the man.

The image made him laugh humorlessly. The comparison was undeniable, and it made Nick disgust with himself. He was a grown man, a detective and a bad-ass grimm, and yet he was stripped down to a useless little boy when it came to the Captain. Gritting his teeth in frustration Nick felt his hate and anger grow and spread rapidly. _Pathetic!_

The sound of a painful whimper made Nick aware of the fact that his fingers, in his rage, was currently digging harshly into the delicate skin of the still unconscious man in his arms. The sight of fresh blood and scratch marks that he had caused the already injured man, Nick shamefully relaxed his firm grip, hoping to avoid any further harm to the man.

The silence suddenly become too heavy and Nick nudge the man gently, trying to wake him up.

“Sir, can you hear me?” Nick asked, watching the Captain struggle to get his eyes open. The shine in his eyes were slightly confused at first, but then the glimmer sharpened and realization was drawn upon him.

“Nick?” Renard said, confused at to why the grimm was holding him, or why he was laying on the ground to begin with. Finding the whole situation underneath him, laying in dirt like an animal, Renard tried to sit up. Barely had he lift more then his arm before pain, hot and heavy, charged through his body like fire. Hissing in pain, Renard quickly resumed his position in the grimm's arms.

“You're hurt,” Nick explained. Renard fought the urge to roll his eyes at the younger man. Of course he was hurt, that being painfully obvious. “How are you feeling?”

“Peachy,” Renard replied, dryly. The remark hit Nick like a slap to the face. Renard might be the one bleeding out in his arms, but Nick sure as hell was bleeding too, emotionally that is.

“Well, good to see your manners hasn't taken a turn for the worse,” Nick said, gritting his teeth. He had been genially concerned for the older man, and this is how he was being repaid? With sarcasm and ingratitude? _Fucking asshole!_

“I don't know why I even bother to check on you. It's clear you are the same ass as always.” Renard looked up at him, his eyes cold with burning anger. Nick meet the man's icy glare head on – equally mad.

“You might claim to be nothing like your family, but you are just as much of an egocentric asshole as the rest of them! You don't care about anyone but yourself! And if you do have a heart enough to care, it's only towards those who will be of use to you!” _God knows I have been on the receiving end of it enough of times,_ Nick thought bitterly.

“And the moment they have expired their usefulness you throw them away like garbage.” _Just like you throw me away..._

And despite knowing this! Knowing perfectly well that Renard would never change, Nick still hoped, and it made him feel like such an idiot for _still_ carrying, angry with himself for _still_ allowing the man to have such an influence on him: But most of all he felt hurt. Sighting Nick shook his head. He was such a fool.

Agony and rage burned his body and mind. How dare the man talk to him in such a disrespectful way? Grimm or not, the detective was still working under his command, and should treat him as such.

“Watch your tongue, Nick. I am still your Captain.” Renard said, sharply.

“You lost your right to be my Captain a long time ago!” Nick snapped. “In fact, you-!” The words rapidly died on his lips. The sudden realization crashing down on him like a wall of bricks. _Well, fuck..._

Renard was about to snap at the insensitive grimm when he saw something in the grimm's eyes, something akin to emotional pain. The sight made Renard bit his tongue.

“You lost my respect as your subordinate a long time ago,” Nick finished saying. The truth weigh heavily on his heart. “I always felt like I could give my all as a detective because I could count on my Captain to have my back if anything went wrong. It was because I had faith in you to protect me that could grow as a detective, as a man and later as a grimm. I felt such a blessing to be working for someone like you. I even looked up to you.” Nick felt his emotions running wild. The words, the pent up frustration and hurt – all of it, sudden blurt out of him and Nick was unable to stop.

“I still did regard you with utmost respect, despite everything with Juliette and your constant refusal to trust me enough to be honest with me.” Nick swallowing thickly, forcing the sudden lump down his throat. “But know, whenever I look at you, all I see is a broken man with nothing to show for. I no longer have faith in you, or wish to follow you. Not...anymore.”

Renard looked dumbfounded at the man before him. He hadn't known. If he had... then perhaps... _I no longer have faith in you, or wish to follow you. Not anymore._

The truth was a bitter pill to swallow, far too bitter then Renard had ever anticipated. But then again, was there really any other way this could have ended? He had treated the grimm with such disrespect, betrayed his trust over and over again. Honestly, Renard had done nothing but to give the detective reason to doubt him – to hate him. And yet, despite everything he'd done, Nick still took the time check that he was okay. Renard suddenly felt guilty as hell. Even if Renard's anger had been perfectly justify, he was wounded, dammit, he still felt bad about his behavior. Nick had done nothing to deserve his bad attitude. Swallowing his pride, Renard said as much.

“I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just tired, and in pain, it doesn't excuse for my ill temper, of course, and for that, I am sorry.” Nick watched the man, searching for any signs of dishonesty – god knows the man had plenty of that, but found non. Nick sigh. Relived their bad mouthing wouldn't lead to an all out shouting match. Quite frankly, Nick didn't had the energy for it either.

“You're forgiven. Also, I apologize, too. I should have taking your pain into consideration.” _Especially since this will probably be the last conversation we have_ , Nick thought, struggling to keep his tears from showing. The thought of never seeing the Captain again was bitter and sad.

“I'm also sorry for what I said before, about my lack of respect for you. I'm sure you have your reasons. I can't imagine the pressure you face every day. It must be hard, being the Captain of Portland PD, not to mention Prince of Portland.”

“It is,” Renard said, looked down at himself. His clothes torn and shred into pieces, covered in blood and dirt, sweat and water from early rain. His body was covered in scratch and cuts, but it was the gashing wound on his chest that really sealed the deal. There were no coming back from this, not even with the healing ability of a Zauberbiest. “But it's worth it.” _Something you'll experience for yourself sooner than you think._

“Furthermore, you have nothing to apologize for. I understand why you feel the way you do towards me.”

“Maybe, but still...” Watching the blood soaked shirt made his heart twist painfully. _I don't want my last words to you be out of hate._

“Are you alright?” Renard asked, noticing the growing pain in the grimm's eyes. The question shook Nick out from his thoughts, only to discover that the Captain's attention was fully on him. Quickly Nick diverted his face, his cheeks embarrassingly hot under the heavy attention he received from the older man. Biting his lower lip, Nick hesitate. What to say? The truth? That he was sad that Renard was dying. Or should he lie? Spear the other man the truth for a little bit longer? Thorned between the two, Nick therefor found it impossible to answer. Therefore, the question remained unanswered.

Renard could see the inner conflict Nick had with himself clear as day. It surprised Renard somewhat how openly the grimm was displaying his emotions. Perhaps Renard's constant studying of the younger man throughout his career had something to do with it. Renard admit, but only to himself, that the grimm had grown on him over the years. He would even go so far as to say he had developing a slight a crush on the detective. Unfortunately, nothing where ever to happened between them. Their relationship was strictly professional, and even then it was frosty at best. Admitting, most of the reasons were his own doing. Paranoia and constant fight for survival did that to you. Looking back at it now, Renard realized that Nick had done nothing towards him to doubt his trust or loyalty. In fact, the detective had been nothing but carrying, hell, the grimm even saved his ass from a crazy assassin as well as preventing him going mental over a couple of coins. No. The distrust between the two of them was all his doing, and his alone, and Renard wish he could do something to change that.

Renard chuckled humorlessly. Of course he would experience a soul searching epiphany right before dying. He didn't fear death, but he wished it was with less guilt in his heart. Especially towards the man who was holding him with such care that it made his heart ache far more than his beat-up body. Renard let out a deep sigh, carefully not to aggravate his wounds.

“You know...” he said, determined to at least _try_ to patch things up between them. “There is no reason to hide the fact that I am dying, Nick. I'd appreciate the effort, but honestly, your poker face is terrible.” Nick chuckled wetly, already feeling himself choking up. Nick had never felt so hopelessly lost. Not even with Juliette.

“I am sorry,” Nick whispered, disappointed and ashamed of his uselessness. Even if Renard had act like an ass more times then not, it still broke his heart to see the usually strong man in such a horrible state.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Renards' lip. Even if there were bad blood between them both, it still glades him to have the man with him at the end. _I'm dying_ , Renard thought, surprisingly alright with it, and then, _I am dying in the arms of a grimm_. Renard chuckled. The fact seemingly ridiculous, and yet fitting.

“Don't worry about it. There is nothing you could have done, or do to save me. You do realize that, right?” Nick nods, unable to meet the man's eyes. He do understand, but it made nothing to sooth the ache in his heart. Forcing down the lump in his throat, Nick spoke:

“What will happen with the precinct?” His voice raw and thick with emotions.

“Don't worry. I have made sure it's well taken care off. My replacement is a good man; smart, loyal and justice. He will be good for the city. I am sure of it.” Feeling his eyes grow heavy, his arms and legs, too, Sean knew he didn't had much time left. “So, don't make me regret my choice, Nick. I count on you to protect this city; to make it a safe place for every citizen – human and wesen.”

Nick looked down at the man in his arms, shocked and awestruck, his mouth hanging open and mind racing and blank at the same time. “There is no one that's more suited to take my place then you, Nick. I know we have had our disagreements, but I could always count on you to do what was best for the city and the people living here – when I, sadly, could not.” Nick, still speechless could only listen. “Besides, I'm no longer fit to run as Captain. According to rumors I have apparently gone mad,” he said, chuckling. “Talking to myself and throwing things around me with no warning.”

Nick said nothing. He too had heard the rumors spreading around the precinct lately; about their Captain's odd behavior. Hell, he and Hank personally experienced a mug of coffee sudden crashing against the glass window not too long ago. The topic was up quite frequently, speculation about Renard finally cracking under the pressure. Nick knew that wasn't the case, but his hands were pretty much tied up in the matter. There were no way he could clean Renard's name – or in this case, mental state, without sounding completely delusional himself. Furthermore, who would believe him? Nick smiled humorlessly. It was better to keep his mouth shut. Especially if he was about to take over as the future Captain.

“Keep your head high, Nick.” Renard instructed. ”Do never allow anyone to talk you down. Trust you instinct, rely on your friends – their strength and wisdom. Treasure them, protect them and love them. Stay true to who you are and I see no reason to why you would fail to become the greatest Captain Portland could ever have asked for.” Feeling himself choking up, Nick did his best to keep some sort of control over himself, needless to say, it was a fruitless effort.

“I... I don't know what to say...” Nick whispered. “I thought... I thought you hated me.”

“I won't deny there were times when I would like nothing more than to strangle you, but I never hated you.” Chuckling wetly, Nick dry his tears with the sleeves of his shirt.

“Am I just that likable?” Renard respond with a surprisingly genuine laugh, and Nick couldn't help but to find the sound beautiful. It should came as no surprise. The Captain was a gorgeous man, it would only be logical his laughter would be too. Nick barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

“I guess you are,” Renard replied, smiling gently at him. Nick felt a warmth inside of him he hadn't felt for in a long time. Nick had always found Renard attractive, even loving him to some degree, which is perhaps why the man's betrayal had hurt him so badly to begin with. Nick had believed himself to be nothing but a tool for the older man; a way to gain power and increase his status, and now... Now Renard told him he had chosen Nick to take his place as the Captain of Portland's police department. Nick was still very much struggling to grasp the sudden turn of event.

“I am honored,” he finally said. Really, he was. “But, I don't have the slightest clue how to run the precinct. I am a detective, not a Captain.”

“Sure you do. You have manage to keep the balance in the wesen community for years. You have earned their loyalties among most of them, and I am sure they would all be very happy for you to become their protector – both as the grimm and now, their Captain.”

“T-thank you, sir.”

“Skip the sir, Nick. The title is no longer mine, but yours.”

“Then, thank you, _Sean_.” Renard took great pleasure in the way Nick said his name, it sound good on the grimm's lips and Renard wish he'd have more time to enjoy it. _Oh, well. Perhaps in another lifetime._

And with that thought in mind, Renard happily closed his eyes; finding peace by the sound of the other younger man's heart, beating at a gently pace.

Nick watched the man in his arms, listening to his gently breath and fading heart. It broke him like nothing else – not even the death of his own mother had hurt quite this badly. So much regrets. Words that had yet been said, and now, would forever be unsaid. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, holding the older man, but Nick kept him close – right to the moment when Renard took his last breath, his blood stop running and body turning limp and cold, and even then, Nick didn't let go.

Pulling the man closer to himself, Nick buried his face in the man's raven hair; the scent of orange and spice still strong. Shaking and sobbing Nick sat on the ground rocking back and forward; tears falling down his cheeks with raw abandonment over a lost friend – a lost love.

“Sean...”

 

Nick's eyes flew open. His heart pound frantically against his ribs and his fingers clutched painfully hard around the sheets. His body was covered in sweat, shaking cold and yet he burned uncomfortably hot. The need of air was overwhelming. Nick tried to move, but the damp sheets were wrapped around him tightly and the restriction almost sent Nick into a fit of panic. He couldn't breath.

“Nick?” The sound of his lover's voice, warm and carrying, almost shattered him. The overwhelming relief, the still lingering fear and pain of losing Sean – a sea of emotions came crashing down upon him all at once. Nick felt like he was drowning. _I'm about to lose my mind_ , he though, honestly scared.

Then, a strong arm ran up and around his slim waist, tugging Nick closer to the firm chest behind him. The touch from the other man instantly calmed him. It centered him, grounding him to the presence of here and now; penetrated his mind and distinguish the distinct differences from dream and reality. Only, his body refused to stop shaking. The raw emotion of pain and sorrow still too fresh, the nightmare – the images of the other man, bloody and broken in his arms... Nick shut his eyes, shivering still.

“What's wrong, love?” It was too much. A broken sob shook him, and Nick didn't know what to do with himself. He never thought he would ever hear the deep, soothing voice of his Captain again.

The sound of bedsheets rustle, then, seconds later, the room bathed in soft light.

“Nick?” He said, looking down at grimm beside him. Frowning at what he saw. The younger man was clearly upset; his eyes red and puffy, face pale and body shaking in his arms. “Love, I need you to tell me what happened.” Another shudder run through his body and Nick instantly reached out, seeking as much body contact as he possibly could with the other man.

Nick buried his face between the Captain's shoulder and neck, taking a deep breath, breathing in the familiar scent of orange and spice; it calmed him, it always calmed him. Nick wasn't too sure when he start associate the smell of his lover with home, but he did. Burying himself against Renard closer still, Nick felt how his body slowly stopped shaking. The gently hand from the older man, running up and down his back, helped, too. Nick wasn't sure how long they laid there, just... together. All he knew was that he needed every second of it.

Renard hummed in approval, always enjoying the closeness with his lover. Tonight it seemed the grimm was in dear need of physical contact, which Renard was more then happy to provide with. Only, Renard would very much like to know what caused the detective – not to mention a bad-ass grimm, because frankly, Nick could right out be scary as hell – to shake and tremble like a petrified child. Renard was curious to know; there wasn't many things that struck fear in a grimm, normally they were the once that spread the fear among others. But, Nick coming forward with his troubles, even to him, was slim, right down to a snowball's-chance-in-hell. Not that Renard blame the man, their relationship had had more ups and downs then your average roller-coaster. Trust was something to be earned by time, and Renard felt no rush. He was not going anywhere, neither did he have any intention of giving up the man in his arms. It had taken some time, and even more so to get his head out from his ass and actually ask the detective out for dinner. The best damn decision he had ever made, if Renard where to say so himself. The only way such a marvelous decision would ever exceed would be the day he were to ask the grimm to marr–

“I had a nightmare...” Renard blinked, then, before he could ask more about it, Nick spoke. “We had been in war against Black Claw. I remember being in pain, and sad, very sad for those I had lost.” Renard kept stroking, running his hand up and down the smooth skin of his lover's back. “I was wandering around... I felt like death himself, surrounded by bodies and the smell of blood... Then, as I walked I...” Nick swallowing loudly, his throat sudden dry and thick. Renard placed a sweet kiss to the man's temple, hopping to relax him, to _ensure_ Nick that whatever had happened in his dream was just that – a dream.

Nick sighed deeply, finding strength and comfort from the older man. “I found your torn body on the ground,” he finally manage to say. “You had this huge cut on your chest and... Sean, there were _so much blood_. I didn't know what to do. There were nothing I _could do!”_ Another broken sob escaped his mouth, making his body shook and trembled once more. Heartbroken Renard tightened his grip around the smaller man, embracing him completely. “I had no other choice but to watch you die. You _died_ in my _arms_ , Sean.” Renard sigh. No wonder Nick was such a mess. Sean was sure he would be beyond himself with grief if Nick was ever to die on him.

“It was just a dream, love,” Renard said. “I'm still with you and will be so for as long as you will have me.” Renard felt something wet and hot against his skin, realizing the grimm was crying. He kissed Nick once more, reassuring him that he was, in fact, still very much alive.

“I won't ever let you go,” Nick replied. Renard chuckled, his heart practically melted by Nick's deceleration. “Also, you made me your successor as Captain,” Nick added, smiling softly.

“Oh, did I?” The evident humor in the older man's voice made Nick smile that much brighter.

“Yeah. You said I would be good to the city since you apparently gone crazy,” Nick teased. Renard laughed out loud at that. “Talking to yourself and everything.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Nick did, too. Renard was one of the most down to earth person Nick had ever meet. It would take on hell of a push, that's for sure, to knock the stoic Captain down the rabbit hole.

“But, what I _don't_ find difficult to believe,” Renard said, his tone sudden serious. “Is that I chose you as my successor.” Nick's smile instantly dropped. “In fact, as I see it, you are next in line to become the Captain of Portland's PD.”

“W-what?”

“This should come as no surprise to you, Nick. You're a great detective and there are a lot of people who looks up to you – respects you. All necessary qualities to become a great Captain. Surely you're aware of this.”

“Well... um, yes...but I...” Renard chuckled lightly, kissing the detective fondly. The grimm too adorable to resist.

“You'll become an outstanding Captain on day, of that I have no doubts.”

“Well, I do have an amazing teacher.”

“Is that so? Well, I am sure I can still teach you a thing or two.”

“I'm sure you can,” Nick said, unable to hide his amusement. “Perhaps you could show me how to use handcuffs properly, _Captain_?” Renard felt his cock twist in interest, unfortunately, it was far too late and both of them had an early morning.

“I'll, I promise, but not tonight.” Right on cue Nick yawned loudly. “I guess I made my point.”

“Loud and clear.”

“Think you can go back to sleep?” Nick snuggled up against Renard, his head resting comfortably on the man's wide chest with a content sigh. “I take that as a yes.” Nick nodded, relaxing further as Renard wrapped a strong arm around his waist. “Good night, love.”

“Good night, Sean.” Turning the light off the room once more fell into darkness, but this time, Nick didn't return to sleep with fear in his heart, but love.

The arm heavily secured around his waist tugging him closer to the man beside him. Smiling Nick shut his eyes. Yeah. He had nothing to fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Even if not everything is likely to happen in the show, I do believe that Nick becoming the next Captain of Portland's PD is a serious possibility. It would also be an epic ending to the show, at least in my opinion. 
> 
> Also, love kudos and a sweet little comment. Please make my day ;)  
> Much love Nicole


End file.
